God is Calling

I started homeschooling my oldest son a couple of years ago. It was a lot more difficult than I had expected. A lot different than I had anticipated. I pulled him out of public school when he was in 2nd grade. It was January 2013. I had always contemplated homeschooling but I never had the opportunity. I was always in school and working-daily, and a single mom. In December 2012 I felt God was calling me to homeschool. It was the strongest pull I have ever felt about anything. I had discussed it with my husband. He was reluctant. Homeschool kids are "weird". After explaining my strong feelings he agreed but wanted me to wait until the next school year. At first I agreed. The calling became urgent. I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced any urgent callings. It is so unbelievably powerful. I, again, spoke with my husband. Reluctantly again, he finally agreed. We made it official in Jan 2013 and I was so happy, excited, RELIEVED. I had no idea WHAT was in store! During this time I was coming to the end of LPN school. It was a fairly busy time.

Before pulling my oldest out of public school he had a dramatic decline in grades and had gradually adopted a terrible rebellious behavior. We started counseling and changed several discipline techniques. It helped for awhile. Then again, decline in grades and attitude. We finally attempted medications for ADHD. It, again, helped for awhile, not entirely, but then started to decline again.

So starting to homeschool. How crazy and exciting right?! Now we were going to be that "weird" homeschooling family. It was so great! I was so stressed (we will go over that later) but excited to start this! After a few months of homeschooling a could-have-been-more-tragic-incident occurred. My precious son (age 7-8 at the time) put a knife to his throat and said, "sometimes people just can't handle life anymore". My mind... was blown. I had no idea what to do or say. To make this already long story a little shorter I will just say that a boy, his age, in his class, had threatened to kill him if he didn't participate in sexual acts with him. Apparently it had been going on for about a year. (Right around his decline in school started). Heartbroken. I can't even speak the feelings. After a long day/night and having him in a locked unit.... I just could barely hold it together. We later had to meet with the county police for a "forensic interview". In which case... they determined it was just "curiosity" and acted as though I was crazy for making it an issue. The parents were never notified and the school was never notified of the incident at all.

We have been working on healing. It is still hard for all of us, most of all for my son who now suffers from depression, anxiety, anger. I AM SO THANKFUL for being so intuitive and listening to God's calling. Who knows what would have happened otherwise. Unfortunately, some damage had already been made, but it could have maybe ended so much worse had I not listened and started homeschooling.